December 4/Day 4

It was really tough going back to work today! The kids were still groggy from having the snow day on Friday. Had to make up all of the things I had planned to do on Friday... but on a Monday. That is tough for my kiddos who so desperately need routine! On top of that we had a staff meeting after school so I didn't leave until close to 5. I had to stop at the grocery store as well since we have NO food in the house. It was almost 7 by the time I got home.

So onto Day 4 of the Christmas Journal. I was happy to discover that the prompt was posted before school this morning. I printed it off and then had the day to think about it. That was nice. I could steal a few moments for myself throughout the day. This was a hard prompt for me. We were supposed to describe our perfect Christmas without any negative thoughts or feelings. This was tough for me since the past few years I have really not enjoyed Christmas, so every time I had a thought about a perfect Christmas a negative thought would counteract it.

In the end, I decided to do some frank journaling about how in order for me to have a perfect Christmas, I really need to have a child. This really goes against the point of this journal as I am trying to get away from the constant pangs of our infertility. But in the end, it is my hope that this journal will not only allow me to truly experience Christmas Joy, but also provide some healing.

The page is pretty simple. I even decided to make this one a single page even though all of the others (all 2 of them) have been two pages. Rebel, I know!

Ok, so here it is:

The stamps are Making Memories. The artistic challenge for today was to use a photo that shows your perfect Christmas. Shimelle even suggested getting one from a magazine. This photo is from a printer advertisement in Family Circle. She reminds me of what I imagine our daughter might look like. The journaling is hidden in the file folder. It is a little more intense, so I decided to tuck it away. The basics are that I really feel that I need to have a child in order to have the perfect Christmas. I also talked about the "magic" feeling that believing in Santa brings.

The acrylic is KI. The santa is from a christmas card that was sent to us a few years ago. I pulled those out for yesterdays challenge, so I had this one handy. I used foam dots to make the pocket stick out enough for the folder to sit in. The folder is from Rusty Pickle although I covered it in KI!

Off to read my email. It's already 8:45! Hoping to get to bed a little earlier tonight!