9/11

It seems fitting that I am finally updating today. Today marks five years since our life as Americans was forever changed. I am never really understood when my parents explained that they remembered exactly where they were when JFK was shot or other events in American history. Sadly, I now understand. I will forever remember the moment I learned about the horrible attacks of 9/11/01.

I was in my first year teaching at Carl Sandburg. I was reading aloud to my students. My assistant was out of the classroom taking care of some things. She came in and told me quietly what had happened. I was stunned. At first, we thought it was a terrible accident. When the second plane hit, it became obvious that this was a planned attack on America. I was torn between my own emotions and protecting the students. I put the kids to work and started researching online to see what I could learn.

I remember an overwhelming unsettling feeling. I didn't know anyone in the buildings or on those planes, but I was scared. All of the wars that had been fought in my lifetime we on far away lands. I was removed from all of it. This was different. Would a war be fought on American soil? Would my life be forever changed? What did this all mean for the long term?

I couldn't get ahold of Chris right away. Unfortunately, he was at our infertility clinic leaving a sample. When I finally got in touch, I just wanted him to come home and be with me. I was scared. However, he needed to stay at work and be at the YMCA for people to feel safe there. I was angry... I wanted him to worry about my safety. In hindsight, I was simply scared. I mean really scared... terrified!

In the days that followed, I was obsessed with the news. I watched HOURS of tv. I needed to get all of the information I could. Information has always been my #1 defense mechanism.

Today, five years later, I am so grateful to feel safe and secure in my home. Life is different now in many ways. We are at war and have been since that day. I know how blessed we are that the war has not physically landed here on American Soil. My political beliefs are strong, and I also know just how blessed I am to live in a country where we have freedoms to disagree with our leaders and not fear for our lives.

I am proud to be an American. I am grateful for the freedoms I have and for the people whose sacrifices make American safe and secure for us. My heart still aches for the families of those who were savagely taken from us on 9/11.

In the end, I will hug my family a little tighter tonight and reflect on how lucky I am to be an American.